friend or foe?

As I was perusing through my google reader this morning, I stumbled across this post from Chow's Chatter and it kind of hit upon something I've been struggling with lately.

I'm well aware that friendships can change as drastically as Ohio's weather.  Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst.

People grow apart.  Their interests change.  They move onto other friends.  Or you do.

Life changes things.

This has been on my mind a lot as I've been working on the final guest lists for the wedding and bridal shower.  And struggling with which friends or 'friends' to include.

In particular, I'm struggling with deciding about these two girls that I work with.  We used to be good friends, but like I said, life changes things.  One of them is having a baby and although I have something huge going on in my life, all of the focus is on her.  I understand that growing a human being is beyond amazing as compared to getting married (ugh, I sound selfish) but I expected my 'friends' to express some form of excitement for me or at the very least acknowledge that I'm spending every breathing moment outside of work trying to plan a wedding.  Maybe I'm expecting too much of a friend, but it seems weird to me that they aren't excited at all.

So I'm struggling with whether I should even invite them.  Would they really be coming to celebrate with me?  Would they even show up?  I wasn't even invited to my friend's baby shower (I have a great baby blanket I made for a girl if anyone needs one!) so does it even make sense to invite them to my wedding?

Sigh...

Friendships change.  I'm so thankful for the close, consistent, wonderful friends that I have.  And sad that every once in a while, friendships drift away just like this one did.

Comments

[melissa]

if she didn't invite you to her shower, she shouldn't expect to be invited to the wedding. in my opinion.

[Colleen Eve]

Nicole - I am reading this obviously way after the fact (didn't realize you had a blog until you commented on mine) and I was loving the recap of the time up to your wedding.

My apologies that this is how you feel. I could go on for many a paragraphs but it's all moot now. I wished that we could be on better terms but you and I were both going through crazy life changes at the same time and I should have been more in tune with your feelings. Once I got pregnant I tried to be careful that I didn't spend too much time on personal things at work for fear that all the guys in the department would look down on me. Apparently I got a little too work focused and stopped thinking about relationships. I wish I could say that it was pregnancy brain but I still don't think that I have my brain back even eight months later.

I hope the wedding was amazing and that you are enjoying your new life. Sorry I didn't hear about your MT send off in time to make it while I was on maternity leave. Take care.

Colleen